I really wanna be one of the individuals that are able to fight this… Because I love my friends and family too much. It sucks because the only real way is to love yourself and your life. I wish I could just get past this. But as a human being experience builds who you are and I’m slowly getting to the point of just being fed up. Fed up on how I just don’t change with my type of personality because it hurts too damn much. Every single day I wake up with no type of purpose. It’s like when an earthquake or some type of disaster happens. I feel like I’m ready for this because what else could damage me more? I’m already in so much pain as it is.
I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. But I’ve never had anything like this before. The lesson learned from this really is to not think about the future. Just to live for today because if you plan so far ahead… Anything could happen and the one thing that really gave your life a big smile could be gone.
Lloyd - You (feat. Lil Wayne)
It’s getting worse to a point where i’m starting to literally hate myself. I just want to go into a deep forest and just tear myself apart. Maybe then i’ll be able to come out different. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna just keep sparkin’ it up to let the days pass by anymore. I wanna live my life again.